MARRIAGE COUNSELING
Couples generally wait about seven years after they become dissatisfied before seeking help with their most precious investment: their marriage. When the bliss of early love fades, as it naturally does, couples usually try to make things better by attacking their partner and blaming the partner for problems, withdrawing and sulking, or both. John Gottman's extensive research into marriage tells us that there are four particularly toxic processes that increase the probability of divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. The longer this goes on, the less the couple wants to keep the marriage.
Most marriages can be salvaged, if both parties want to work on salvaging it. Saving the marriage requires giving up criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling and learning more effective processes. When the partners learn to deal with differences and problems in a respectful, honest, and direct manner, the relationships begins to heal. The couple also learns to seek out and tolerate intimacy.
In Gestalt marriage counseling, the couple works on noticing and reporting their awareness and feelings to their partner in the moment. They work on developing their listening and responding skills. They work on developing conflict skills such as raising an issue respectfully and receiving the partner's issue. They work on allowing vulnerability and appreciating intimacy.
Nancy Schleich, LISW-S
2388 East Main Street
Bexley, Ohio 43209
614-235-0728
schleich.1@osu.edu